Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I Have A Blog?! Oh Yeah...

Sorry, my vow to generate content consistently has fallen apart so quickly. Honestly, I though I'd last longer than this. I've been spending a lot of time resurrecting my college laptop from the dead. My laptop is a paperweight, no longer! It is now a proud machine of limited use! Huzzah!

I've also been working with MJ and Jay on ideas for our site. We're taking baby steps, but nothing worth doing just happens over night. I wish they did, things would be so much easier. I've also been out doing stuff *and* things. Discover new pancake-house, check. Wonder around NYC for several hours with no particular plan, check. Condescend of some pompous ass, check. World domination, pending. Shaddup, 3 outta 4 isn't bad. I also have a few other plans, brewing but I'll wait to update you on those.

Finally, I feel compelled to state how much I miss Photoshop. I need to get back into the habit. Perhaps I'll post whatever I create on here. At least then I can kill two birds with one stone. Take that, F@#*ng birds!

Monday, February 15, 2010

You Found Something?

So, my Baseball Playlist is growing. I'm even adding to it as I type this. I had long since exhausted every song I knew off the top of my head, now, I'm on to using the internet for research. Finding new song titles is easy, finding the audio, however, is not. I have to share two of my favorite additions with you.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Play(list) Ball!

So, we've reached the sporting abyss; the weeks between The Superbowl and MLB Opening Day. During this sporting void, my longing for baseball's return ignites my burning passion for the game. This year, is no exception. In order to help ease me through this transition, I have decided to compile the best-damn baseball playlist EVER! All the songs must either be about baseball or the heroes who made the game what it is today. I want to focus my attention on baseball songs recorded before 1970, but some exceptions will have to be made. Here is a smattering of my list, so far. If you have any suggestions or song I missed please help me expand this list.

A tribute to The Yankee Clipper!


The 'Say Hey' Kid


The Mick


A good old song about baseball...


Yes, this is the *official* theme of The New York Yankees.

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Cult of Punxsutawney Phil (Part IV: The Knob)

Are you ready for the epic conclusion to my Groundhog Saga?! Well, sadly it’s not really that epic, but it is a conclusion. Around 2:30am Bill and I began our trek to Gobbler’s Knob, home of Punxsutawney Phil. We looked at the path on the map and saw that it wasn’t that far. One inch on the map was roughly a block in real life. The trip to Gobbler’s Knob looked like a 10-15 minute walk. Well, once you leave the town proper, the scale of the map shifts drastically. The journey was about one and a half miles, give or take.

We didn’t realize this till we were half way up the interstate; the temperature was 5 degrees at this point. We then turned back and decided to take the shuttle. That was one of the best ideas of the trip. The purists say you have to walk there, but, Bull and I had reached the point of “fuck it.” After the first 7-6 hours, tradition seems to be – overrated. It is also worth noting that there is an actual trail that you are supposed to take to get the Gobbler’s Knob. You are not supposed to walk along the highway. It would have been nice to know that beforehand. Oh well. One note about the shuttle, there are some members of the National Guard there to help the police search people for alcohol. To this day I can not figure out is the assignment is a punishment or if people actually want Groundhog Duty. One the one hand, you’re still in the US and not a hell-hole like Iraq; but, you have been reduced to guarding a rodent, a really popular rodent, but still a rodent.

One warm and happy bus ride later, we arrive. One you get to “The Knob,” time stands still. You feel every second of sleep depravation and every degree of cold. Of course, there is *nothing* to do there. They have a bon-fire, but it is way too small to accommodate the 5,000+ people. There are people on stage babbling about some crap you don’t care about and every hour the give you the time and temperature. They also love Lady Gaga, I heard her 5 times at least during the night. Ironically, Gobbler’s Knob was the only part of the trip we did not enjoy. Dontcha love irony?

There is only one highlight to this hell, the emergence of “The Dude.” This guy was like a thin Labowski. He would just appear outta nowhere, pose, and disappear. Somehow, he made it awesome. As 50-100 people huddled around a tiny bonfire, shoulder to shoulder, this guy was able to stroll up to the from of the group, warm himself to a few minutes and then disappear. He did this without pushing anyone, he was just able to glide on in. We tried to get a picture of him but every time we got the camera out, The Dude was gone.

At 5:30 Bill and I decided to take the shuttle back to town. This was the best decision of the trip. We went to the McDonalds, mostly because it was the only thing open. We stopped in to enjoy the warmth and “food.”

We stayed in our warm neon shelter for about an hour then took the shuttle back. We had to see this thing threw to the end, it was a pride thing. At some point I fell asleep on the shuttle. When I awoke the 6:30am fire works show was under way. We enjoyed the show from the bus. It was a good show for a small town. We then had half an hour to kill before Phil’s prediction. Before the show Phil “Inner Circle” (the town officials) took the stage in there top hats and coats took the stage. They all introduced them selves and introduced the special guest MC; Stephen Tobolowsky, the guy who played Ned Ryerson in the move “Groundhog Day.” The crowd cheered, I had stopped caring. At 7:30 The Prognosticator of Prognosticators saw his shadow, meaning six more weeks of winter. The second they finished the announcement we got on the bus ASAP and began the drive home. We craved sleep. I started the drive home, stopping only to get a Red Bull to fuel the trip home. When I got too sleepy to stay in my lane Bill took over driving and I napped for about 20 min. When Bill got too tired to stay in the lanes, I resumed driving. When I got home, I slept, and it was glorious.

So ends my Groundhog Day Saga. All in all it was a good trip. I honestly want to thank Greg again for inspiring this undertaking. I left with many fun memories and some epic pictures. I am glad I went. If you ever want to try the same trip, just follow one pice of advise; don’t go to Gobbler’s Knob before 6:30am.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Cult of Punxsutawney Phil (Part III: Groundhog Jesus)

After six grueling hours, we arrived in Groundhog Mecca; Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.



We called it "Groundhog Mecca" because in Punxsutawney, Phil is treated with the same reverence that is typically reserved for a deity. Everywhere you look, some image of Phil will be there to greet you. For example, the first restaurant we saw was Punxy Phil's Cakes & Steaks; it's a sold restaurant, the food is slightly better than that of you average diner, slightly. The only complaint I have with Punxy Phil's that it closes. In fact that is my problem with most of the town. I'm used to 24 hour diners, living in a place where all the eateries close by 9:00pm won't cut it.

After leaving the groundhog themed bar, Bill and I went to a local drive-in for ice cream. In order to get there, Bill and I had to cross the highway. Luckily, in Punx crossing the highway is as easy as crossing any side street in Jersey. It was actually easier to stroll along the interstate that it was to use the sidewalk. I have never spent so much time casually strolling along an interstate highway in my life. The ice cream was really good, I got soft-serve vanilla with chunks of pineapple in it. I highly approve. Yes, I am aware that few people would go for ice cream in approximately 18 degree weather, but I appreciate the irony of craving ice cream in winter.

Next, Bill and I ventured out to find "Groundhog Brew," a local micro-brew that they only release for Groundhog's Day. We wanted to bring some back for everyone, but the brewery and liquor store were both closed. Sigh, liquor stores should be open at 9:00pm, but I digress. We finally found a hotel bar that served the beer. Groundhog Brew is a bold hoppy-but-not-too-bitter beer. I also love that you can get two beers for $5 the Punx.



After the bar, Bill and I had about five hours to kill before leaving for Gobbler's Knob. Bill and I decided to wonder around, take pictures, and drink. I'm gonna list some of the highlights from that 5 hour time span.

There was a group of dancers putting on a fire show in the middle of town. I learned that I instantly fall for any girl who plays with fire.


Bill and I tried to pose with as many groundhog statues we could. There are about 32 in total. We did not get to them all. Bill currently has the pictures.

We saw a groundhog statue the was dressed like a fireman, ax and all. We were posing as if we were about to be executed by the groundhog when two strangers approached us. They seemed cool, we got to talking. They mentioned they just returned from a mission to South America. Yes, they were missionaries. The mission took them from South America to Punxsutawney, in the same trip. Why? Anyway, five minutes they asked us "What are your thoughts on life and God?" Yeah, who didn't see that coming. We took them seriously and had a good discussion with them. I really wanted to bait them into a very technical theological discussion, but they left before I could. Too bad, you never hear missionaries get too indeepth. I wanted to see how well though out there stance was; to turn the tables, if you will.

I noticed a sign next to the KFC/Long John Silver's that read "We Cater." Yes, there was a phone number and everything.

We went to a bar named Cookie's Caboose. The plan was to go the the bar with the funniest name. The Caboose won.

As the night went on and the temperature dropped I bought a ridicules groundhog hat to wear and keep me warm. Yes, I wore it. Some people even asked where I got it.

When it got to about 5 degrees we had to retreat to the cover of the local Burger King for warmth. Burger King was our safe heaven.

We found a local super market that was selling groundhog cakes.

Around 2:30am it was time for us to begin the trek to Gobbler's Knob. But that story, is for part four.

PS: Here is a map of all the groundhog statues in town. They're like Pokemon, you gotta catch 'em all!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Cult of Punxsutawney Phil (Part II: Road Trip Delirium)

Now, the voyage to Punxsutawney did consist of more than just fucking with Greg, after all, this was a six hour trip. Our trek took us from civilization (New Jersey), to The Bronze Age (Pennsyltucky), Winter (The last 70 miles or so), and finally, Groundhog Mecca.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, Pennsyltucky is the rural sections of Pennsylvania outside of the Philadelphia and Pittsburg areas. There is nothing except for barns, silos, road, barns, power lines, silos, trees, barns, cattle, barns, mountains, barns, and more roads. It is full of beautiful scenery, and if I had to live there I’d kill myself; just for something to do. It really reminds me of the Bronze Age, large livestock farms emerging across the landscape and trade routs emerge. You can go miles without seeing any kind of shopping center, restaurant, gas station, or human being. When you face this kinda void there is only one recourse, riffing on life.

When I say ‘riffing on life,’ think of Mystery Science Theater 3000, but replace the road with the movie. This is by far the most difficult portion of my saga to chronicle. I really enjoyed riffing the trip down, but it really was an amalgamation of you-had-to-be-there jokes. I wish mere text could properly convey the hilarity, but alas, it can not. I do want to share with you two riff moments that really stand out to me. First, when Bill was about to right down one of our ideas for the future, I glanced at his note pad; I noticed that we only had one item on the itinerary, and it was crossed off. The item was a groundhog celebration that turned out to be in July. I love the fact that we started this trip with only one idea that we crossed out long before we actually went on the road. Second, is this exchange between Bill and myself:

(We pass through a tunnel and Bill takes a picture of the car in front of us)

Me: Was there a point to that?
Bill: No.
Me: Ok.

That exchange embodied the soul of our trip. This trip was about rolling with the punches, living in the moment, and finding fun/humor in whatever life throws at us. Tomorrow, be prepared for Part III: Groundhog Jesus.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Cult of Punxsutawney Phil (Part I: Fucking With Greg)

Life is unpredictable. You never know how one off the cuff decision can impact your future. For example, a few weeks ago I get a last minute invitation from my friend, Bill, to attend his birthday celebration at The Shannon Rose. Normally, I avoid that place like the plague; it’s expensive, the drinks taste watered-down, and there is a very high chance of me running into people I never want to see again. My trepidations aside, I can’t say “no” to a birthday invitation. I muster up the resolve to throw caution to the wind and attend the party.

Hanging out with Bill is always fun. Bill has a strong can-do attitude, and the dedication to follow through on his plans. I admire that quality in people and I feed off it. When I hang out with Bill, hilarity and adventure can arise at any moment. This time was no exception. Our friend, Greg, mentioned a trip to Punxsutawney, PA he took a few years back. He went with a group of our mutual friends to see The Prognosticator of Prognosticators, Punxsutawney Phil on Groundhog’s Day. Greg *hated* the trip, likening it to his own “Vietnam.” Bill and I were convinced it couldn’t be nearly as bad as he said it was. After a few words of discouragement from Greg, we knew we had to venture to Punxsutawney.

The day after the party Bill and I requested February 1st and 2nd off from our respective jobs. The Groundhog Day ceremony is 7:30am, and Punxsutawney is six hours away from us. This had to be an overnight trip. Also, every hotel in the area gets books a lost a year in advance. This meant a six hour drive there, and all-nighter to see the ceremony, and a six hour drive home. Luckily this did not discourage Bill and I even slightly, it actually made the idea more exciting, for us. February 1st 2010 at approximately 11:00am, our vision became reality.

Now, apparently most people didn’t think and off-the-cuff remark and a half drunken vow would actually result in a road trip. I got several texts asking me if was really going, one of them eventually came from Greg. Roughly an hour and thirty minutes into the trip I get a text from Greg inquiring if we really were going through with our insane trip. Considering Greg was the impetus for our excursion, there was only one thing to do; we had to fuck with him.

We had a system; Bill would text him and ask if he wanted to go the High Point Brewery after Bill got outta work. Bill would claim the he was waiting for me to pick him up. Bill would then discover that I left without him. My responses to Greg would more or less be the truth, as long as it didn’t totally give away the fact that Bill was sitting next to me. Everything Bill say would contradict what I said, but we tried to keep it all plausible. Bill actually did all the texting, as I was driving. Bill had the most dead-on assesmrnt of the situation, “I love how all of out road trips eventually degenerate into us thinking of ways to fuck with Greg, remotely.” This got really elaborate, so much so, that we are planning on making ‘Fucking With Greg 2000;’ a special software program designed to help us keep track of our past, current, and future lies to Greg. Yes, we were gonna tell lies to set up future lies. This is what we think of when faced with a 6 hour car trip, be warned.

Later we intentionally slip up and give Greg a huge clue we’re just messing with him, but not actually say it. Bill sent Greg a text message from my phone that referred to a comment he made to Bill roughly an hour earlier. Now, all doubt was removed from Greg’s mind. Greg then decided to get even by fucking with us. He texted Bill and mentioned he had a really bad day and would go to the brewery with him for a much needed drink. This was like Christmas wrapped in The 4th of July, with a little bit MLB Opening Day sprinkled on top. We knew he was fucking with us and he knew we were fucking with him. Without getting into all the convoluted details, the pranks ended after Bill left Greg a voice message saying that was going to abandon any attend to meet up with me in PA and that Billy was now on his way to pick up Greg. By the time this all ended Billy and I were 30 minutes away from our final destination. Yes, roughly four out of six hours of our drive to PA involved us trying to fuck with Greg. Honestly, thank you Greg, you made our trip.